Snakehead Swamp

If you have been following Syfy films for the last year or so, it seems like they are following the same themes. These films either have a Louisiana bayou theme or they are dealing with sharks. Even though set in Los Angeles, Sharnkado was about sharks basically coming out of waterspouts. Ghost Shark was about a shark that was also a ghost. Snakehead Swamp is quite more of the same.

Back again in the Louisiana bayou, teenagers go out to a party on the water with intentions of having a good time. After a truck is crashed near the water, a snakehead is released and sets off a curse. The curse dates back to olden times and causes more trouble at hand.

For a horror film, this is very so formulaic. Kids going out in the middle of nowhere and you get to know nothing about these characters as they are not developed at all. These kids also don't seem to have a brain because it just seems ludicrous to go swimming in a bayou swamp.

Even more so, this film seems to turn into what Syfy films typically are. We expected this to be very low budget with the limited special effects being a prime example of that. On that, the effects do seem to come off a computer and a very old one at that. The acting is really hit or miss. Maybe the biggest point to make about Snakehead Swap is that it is very old for these Syfy movies to keep returning to the bayou.

Sure, even the good SyFy films are still at most times nothing special. That said, Snakehead Swamp has really nothing here to make it passable. It is just another cliche'd and problematic film from this channel.

1.5/5

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Underworld

In every decade, you can find vampire films. Famous horror director Bela Lugosi was one of first director to make these films with his 1931 Dracula and countless inspirations and type of sequels followed it. In the 70's, Blacula fells into what the 70's were and that trend contented with Lost Boys in the 80's and Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the 90's which later turned into a popular tv show. Even though it was met with fair amount of criticism, the Twilight series was a recent film adaptation of a vampire story from 2008 to 2014.

In the world of this film, Lycans are a type of werewolf and have been at war for years with a group of vampires who call themselves "Death Dealers". Michael (Scott Speedman), is a medical student and a normal human who eventually the Lycans show interest in and in a mysterious way. Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is a member of the Death Dealers who also shows an attraction to Michael, and investigates the reasons as to why the Lycans are interested in Michael. This is a Romeo and Juilet love story in the middle of a horror-war in a dark world. The story is frankly all over the place.

Underworld does have some ideas it seems but it is very low on substance. To say that lead actress Kate Beckinsale had a career after Underworld would be correct but before this, she was just coming into her own. She brings an edge to the lead character and it helps of course that she is very attractive but this love story the film conveys is very light on substance and ideas. The supporting characters are also over the place and it's hard to figure out who who's. Underworld  is a movie that ends on a note that comes with very serious question mark as to even how another story could come out of it.

Maybe the most interesting thing here but still not done right is the depiction of this future world. It is always dark with daily thunderstorms and it has a feel of Britain. There are flaws here and one is that it is always nighttime in this world because no sunlight is shown throughout the movie. Why? The film does have some nice sets but then the film gives us a lot of action scenes in sewers which is interesting but maybe not the best scenes.

Underworld feels like kind of like a direct-to-dvd film or like a potential blockbuster that really lost it's way. It  would work ok for a rainy day but I question how and why this has a sort of a cult following and a series that followed. I can only guess.

2.5/5

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Sleepless in Seattle

In the 1993 movie, Sleepless in Seattle, Sam Baldwin (Tom Hanks) is a single and widowed father in Seattle who is trying to raise his only son Jonah (Ross Malinger) by himself. Jonah calls into a late night radio program asking for a mother. Annie Reed (Meg Ryan) all the way in New York City and lonely herself takes an interest in the story and she falls for Sam without ever seeing him. A love story forms on fate and some rather ridiculous antics.  

I have liked Tom Hanks for years and I have always wished Meg Ryan's career had panned out better  for her. You can't say this duo does not have chemistry because they really do while Ross Malinger as Jonah fits into the mix perfectly and the story the film tells is very original. Still though, the likelihood of this story actually happening is very far fetched. Seattle and New York are such a long distance apart and it is filled with a predictable ending involving an airplane that wouldn't work now because of 9/11. Bill Pullman and Rosie O'Donnell are the leaders of the supporting cast and the mixture is frankly beyond uneven.

Now a week after it's 21th anniversary release week, Sleepless in Seattle is surely a very loved film. This film is one I can see living on for awhile and of course it is a classic for the ladies. Maybe it's the boy in me but I find Sleepless in Seattle to be a flawed piece more than anything. I think it is an overrated and somewhat underwhelming romantic flick.   


3/5

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Runaway Bride

In 1990, Gary Marshall created Pretty Woman and basically made a name for himself even though he was doing pretty well before. It was a love story based upon a stripper which had different love elements and was mostly surely the star vehicle film for Julia Roberts. Close to ten years after that, he considered doing a Pretty Woman 2. The film that would surely make money and have an audience because Pretty Woman with Richard Gere and Roberts was so very popular. Instead, he made Runaway Bride.

 Runaway Bride is the story of Maggie Carpenter a girl in a small town who literally ran away from the three weddings and who found a strange attraction in the news reporter in town, Ike Davis (Richard Gere), who wrote about Maggie's many wedding day antics.

As a person who never been married and far from it, the idea a bride running away from a wedding seems unlikely and just makes you not like the Maggie Carpenter character. Who could like a lady who's never certain about anything and who treats each different fiance like dirt? You can't even like Ike Davis who's does seem to be the better of the two but you do have to wonder as to why he is interested in Maggie. It's like when your best friend has that awful girlfriend who you don't like and she makes you like your friend a little less.

Runaway Bride does have star power with it leads but there are even better performances from the supporting cast. Joan Cusack as Peggy Flemming is the very loud, best friend of Maggie and they are the type of friends that get drunk every Saturday night. Paul Dooley plays Walter Carpenter, Maggie's dad and is maybe the only character you can like because he's likes to make fun of Maggie a lot. Christopher Meloni as Bob Kelly and Donal Logue as Priest Norris were the latest fiancés, in Maggie's trap and frankly you just feel bad for them. Even Hector Elizondo and Rita Wilson show up as a couple though there really is no point for them to be here.

The ending is beyond predictable and pretty unlikely but still Runaway Bride is your typical romantic film. Sure it's different and has all that talent going for it and it will find an audience with woman because what woman does not like weddings? That said Julia Roberts is a poor lead character that takes this downhill a little bit. I'm not really a fan of sequels but this movie from 1999 makes me wish for the Pretty Woman sequel that we never got. Instead, we just got this sappy junk.

2.5/5

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Hitch

Dating is a process full of so many important steps that all need to be right. Some people are really into dating while some people like me don't care. To say I don't like romantic film is wrong though. I do find most to be geocentric and I feel we sure do get enough of them. Hitch is the romantic film we need in this world. It is a love doctor story filled with it's fair share of problems though.

Hitch is a love doctor played by well known actor Will Smith. He makes a businesses of helping guys with their love life to set them up with the perfect girls. He tries to help one of new clients Albert (Kevin James) to get a celebrity Allegra Cole (Amber Valletta) and Hitch himself falls for Sara Melas (Eva Mendes). The film is set in New York City and conveys the big dating world in one small picture.

In every way that you look at, this is a typical Will Smith character and performance. Hitch is a player who could get any girl he wanted and he is very good at being this date doctor and it makes him so unlikable at times. The same thing could be said about the female characters of the story. Allegra and Sara are doing so well in every aspect of life that you really don't care about them and you just wished the film created different characters as love inserts. The person you should care about the most is Albert, the chubby guy who's struggled all his life with dating and you just want him to have his chance. He's also very likable and funny.

You should totally dig the Albert character but he is faced with some uncertain factors. No way in the real world would a guy like Albert get a celebrity like Allegra. She is just too pretty. We can also question Hitch because it seems like no one can make a business off of what he does but he is somehow living in what seems like an upscale New York apartment? Can Hitch be this good at his job because he seems to be right on everything? He is an unrealistic love doctor it seems.

I really do like the general concept of Hitch but there are too many needed pieces that are missing to make it fully good film. In the end, Hitch is a barely above average film that should have been more.

3/5

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Reviving Ophelia

Elizabeth (Rebecca Williams) is a typical teenager who's found what's seems to be a great guy in her boyfriend Mark (Nick Thurston). The relationship starts to turn sour once Mark starts to be abusive and controlling. Reviving Ophelia is Lifetime movie trying to convey the dark sides and dangers of relationships.

I am all for a film trying to show how important to be safe in relationships even if it's only a televison film. I think it is important to expose this important issue and in the most serious manner which maybe could even save a life and the Lifetime channel would seem to be the perfect place for a tv film like this. The Lifetime channel seems to have a wide audience and they have made many films.

So why then is Reviving Opehia so cheesy when it's dealing with a such touchy and important subject?

Even though she is a victim of assault, Elizabeth is hard character to root for because she can get away from her abuser Mark and she is clearly something of a button-pusher. You obviously can't like Mark either because he is a guy beating up a woman and not taking responsibility for his actions. Keil (Carleigh Beverly) Elizabeth cousin, is the character in the middle who's supposed be trying to help Elizabeth get away from Mark but the two unlikable characters are in the way of her character realizing her full potential. Even Jane Kaczmarek as mother Marie Jones, previously known for good stuff like Malcolm in the Middle and Part of Five, falls short and her acting here is far from where it usually is. The cast does have some chemistry though everything is toned down due to this being a tv film. The plot really has only one subject and it really has little substance.

Reviving Ophelia is so full of problems that it's main message that "that abuse is bad" gets very lost in the middle of it. After that, it is a bit laughable and you keep watching because you have nothing else to do. We watched this in my high school Relationships class as we spent a whole unit learning about abusive relationships. Frankly, just about whole class laughed at this movie and my buddy next to me cracked some sex jokes and commented about all the attractive actresses that appear in this film. It did make this bad tv film seem more bearable.

2.5/5

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Gremlins

There are so many types of monsters around in the film industry. Godzilla and King Kong are the type of monsters that are massively big and known to cause terror to large cities. You can also say a monster is something like Dracula, Freddy Krueger or just a murdering villain. In my mind, you can't always put a type of monster into a certain genre and this is a type of discussion that could last for a while.

Fitting into that long discussion should be the 1984 film Gremlins, a monster film in many ways. Inventor Randy Pultzer (Hoyt Axton) while in Chinatown gets an animal known as a mogwai as a early Christmas present for his son Billy (Zach Galligan). A mogwai could be described as very small and fury creature who's owner must observe strict rules regarding their handling or negative consequences will occur. For example, they can't be fed after midnight, can't be exposed to bright lights nor can they come into contact with water. If these rules are not observed basically you get "monster terror".

To say a mogwai is one certain type of creature would wrong. A mogwai is a type of creature that could appear in a Saturday morning cartoon or a family film but once those mogwai handling rules are broken, he turns into the exact opposite who could be something very R rated. It is then a type of creature wanting to cause harm to the town and also a very ugly looking thing. The actions scenes involving them interestingly combine horror and comedy. The scenes involving them are quite fun and also ahead of it's time with some great special effects.

 That said, there are some plot holes in these scenes. Being set at Christmas time, many of the action scenes are set in the snow. So how can the gremlins run through snow as they do when you know snow is filled with water which is against the mogwai rules? You can't feed a mogwai past a certain time but the film gives us no clue to what time zone we are in and if you think about it, anywhere in the world it's past midnight somewhere?

As any good film should do, this film give the cast many things to do. Billy is our leader and main fighter for the town. Phoebe Cates playing Kate Beringer is the Billy's love interest. She is very likable and also very sexy as always. Randall Peltzer is the father who I'm sure feels some sort of blame towards the creatures creating havoc in his town and his character does have some funny moments with his strange and worthless inventions. Even Corey Feldman shows up as the character Pete who is like your little brother in that he is highly annoying and just seems to roam around without direction but you like him though.
  

Gremlins apparently was one of the movies which introduced the PG-13 rating. It is a film that in some respects defines 1980's era films. It is a film that I enjoyed more when I was a little boy but the teenager in me still found something in it that I liked. Gremlins would surely work for a modern family audience today. This is a film that is as powerful then as it is now. Monster film joy.

4/5

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